Lately I have been trying to find comfort or acceptance during times of transition. I think that is a valid goal, and that patience is a skill worth learning.
I start to wonder, will life ever feel more complete? I guess, what does that even mean?
I went to school, with the hopes of a pretty traditional future: school, work, family (I know the patriarchy, exclusive/flawed family values, but that is not the point here). In theory I could have graduated from school, found a job, did some type of 9-5 thing, had free time, and started a family.
Now, a lot of those pieces are there. I have a degree, like 1.85 as of now. I choose a career I am passionate about, and find incredibly reward. I met and fell in love with my amazing partner. The love was mutual, and we are engaged.
All the pieces were there, but I still feel like I am waiting.
I am almost done with school, but not quite. I am engaged, but am no where near a wedding, and the whole thing is still really over whelming. I have a job in the field I studied and that I love, but it is part time and temporary.
I am living in the training wheels of adulthood.
I don’t regret any of the decisions I have made about school, work, or love. While surely this post sounds on the “woe as me” side, I really am fortunate for all I have. In all that I do, I give my all and follow my heart, and that has brought me so many amazing things in life (oh, and I have massive amounts of privilege, but again, a different post).
During the journey, sometimes you just wish all the pieces would come together. When the future is fuzzy, it is hard to remain faithful and motivated.
In the end though, I continue to let my passion, dreams, and skills lead me. I have no idea when I will even set the date for my wedding, let alone the actual date of said event. I have no idea how I will be earning money in three months.
This is one of the times I tell myself to, buck up cupcake, and get to work. I try to stay focused and on point. In the end though, it is still always a little scary.
Oh my god, I feel like I will continually write this post throughout my life. Consider this time 1.